The Grief of Naomi | Ruth 2025
Last fall we walked through the OT book of Daniel together. In church, we don’t always study the Old Testament well; it is often seen as a collection of stories about a God of wrath and destruction. Sure, God’s sovereignty and power are displayed in beautiful acts of creation, but also in questionable dealings with fallen humanity through natural disasters, plagues, war, and death. If we believe the Old Testament God is angry and punitive, the truth is lost: the whole Bible, including the Old Testament, is a story that reveals God’s restorative heart. Even the difficult stories are meant to show us the heartbeat of a God who redeems.
This fall we turn to a very different book: Ruth. It is a quick 4-chapter read, and you’re likely familiar with it. I would encourage you to read through it several times in the coming months and see what God wants to speak to you through it.
Unlike Daniel, there are no fiery furnaces or lion dens here; God’s mighty power is not the focus. Instead, the book shows God quietly at work through ordinary people. One commentary describes it this way: Ruth reveals a relational God who is “constructing his grand story out of the small, seemingly inconsequential stories of everyday people.”
The story begins, “During the days when judges ruled, there was a famine in the land.” That single sentence tells us a lot. We need only turn one page back to the end of the book of Judges to know that the time of the judges was one of moral chaos—“all the people did what was right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25). Into this context, Elimelech and Naomi, and their two sons, leave Bethlehem—the Promised land—to find food in Moab.
But hold up. Moab wasn’t just another country. The Moabites were enemies of Israel. In fact, they had tried to curse Israel, and the law specifically banned them from becoming part of the Lord’s people. Elimelech and Naomi didn’t just leave the Promised Land, they chose to live in enemy territory.
And this is where I want to focus on Naomi.
Naomi began with a blessed life by ancient standards: a husband and two sons. In her society, that meant status and security. But then her life unraveled: first, her husband died. Still, she had her sons, and she found them Moabite wives. Ten years passed, but no children were born to Naomi’s sons, and then both sons died.
Some commentaries describe these deaths as divine punishment for living in Moab. While I don’t share this view of God, we’ll see that Naomi herself believed just that.
Then Naomi heard news around Moab, “that the Lord had considered his people and given them food.” Even though the Moabites had taken her family in and treated them well over the last decade, she realized there was nothing left for her in Moab except poverty and bitterness. Everything Naomi had worked and hoped for was gone. She had two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, but as childless widows, they were the most vulnerable in society. If anything, they were a triple burden.
What could Naomi do?
She couldn’t return to her father’s household; she was likely too old. But Israel’s law did provide for widows and foreigners, so perhaps there was a sliver of hope.
At first, all three women set out for Bethlehem. But the farther they got down the road, the more dejected Naomi became. That tiny spark of hope died. She urged Orpah and Ruth to return home, knowing life in Israel would be harsh for them as Moabites. It is ironic that while a journey to the Promised Land had always been equated with entering God’s goodness and rest, Naomi saw a better future for her daughters-in-law if they stayed in Moab.
Through tears, she blessed them: “Each of you should go back home to your mother. You have been very kind to me and my sons who are now dead. I pray that the Lord will be just as kind to you, and that the Lord will help each of you find a husband and a good home.” This scene is heartbreaking; their love for one another, evident in their grief over parting ways.
Orpah and Ruth resisted at first, insisting they would go with her. But Naomi’s grief boiled over: “Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.” Naomi believed her suffering was God’s punishment and wanted to spare her daughters-in-law, whom she loved, from sharing it.
I find it interesting that Naomi sees the loss her daughters experienced as sad, but as life out of their control, but she sees her own loss as God’s fist raised against her. Naomi can hope and pray for God’s blessing over her daughters-in-law, but she cannot hope for God’s love or provision for herself. How often do we do the same? God is good and loving toward others, but not to me.
Orpah, eventually obeys Naomi’s command and turns back to Moab — but this is not an act of abandonment, but of loving obedience. Let’s not give Orpah a bad rap for doing what was culturally normal and explicitly asked of her; she is in no way a villain in this story.
Orpah returned home in obedience and love. But Ruth chose a different path. She clung to Naomi with loyal love, binding herself to her mother-in-law and to the God of Israel.
She would abandon all that she knew for Israel and the one true God. While coming from a seemingly evil nation, Ruth’s words to Naomi reflected God’s covenant with Moses in Exodus. Her words are the most quoted from the entire book of Ruth, and while they are beautiful, I’m not going to share them now. Today’s focus is on Naomi.
When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred. The women are all shocked that Naomi has returned after all this time, but Naomi quells their excitement, boldly claiming that God has heaped bitterness and tragedies upon her. She tells them to call her by a new name, Mara, which means bitter. And, to top it all off, she declares that the Lord has brought her back empty-handed, even though Ruth is standing loyally by her side.
The town noticed Naomi and welcomed her back and yet chose not to step in to help. Whether out of judgment or fear, they do what is right in their own eyes and neglect the law God established to care for the vulnerable. Their inaction causes Naomi’s despair to deepen. Naomi saw only loss; she could not yet see God’s presence. Eventually, Ruth will realize she needs to take action to provide for their survival. But more on that next month.
My heart breaks for Naomi. I am no stranger to grief, though I cannot imagine losing my spouse and children. In her book about grief, Kate Meyer writes that while “Death steals a person, every facet of them; grief steals living from the survivor.” She also voices that perhaps “one of the greatest losses is the ability to feel love, either from God or toward God.” That’s exactly where Naomi was—unable to feel God’s love for her.
Where has life felt like it was unraveling for you?
What grief or struggle do you carry?
Are you struggling to feel God’s love for you?
If you have felt that way, if you are feeling that way, you are not alone.
It is easy to ask, where was God in Naomi’s grief? From her perspective, and perhaps even from ours, it looks like God had turned against her. But looking more closely, we see God was there all along.
I see God in the Moabites, who welcomed Naomi’s family in their time of need, when they needed a home. I see God in the news of food back in Bethlehem that somehow reached Naomi’s ears. I see God in two daughters-in-law who loved Naomi enough to walk away from their own futures to stay by her side. I see God most of all in Ruth’s sacrificial love, a love so fierce it reflected the very heart of God.
God did not show up for Naomi in powerful or miraculous ways. He showed up through people, through community, through love. Naomi’s grief was fresh and all-consuming, but the Gospel of Matthew says those who are poor in spirit have more room for God’s rule (Matthew 5:3-4).
And here is what the story teaches us: God will use an ordinary life and ordinary people, even brokenness, to bring about hope and redemption. We cannot wait for God to do everything, we need to be active participants in our own lives, and in the lives of those we have been given. Our circumstances do not define God’s goodness. Our doubts and despair do not cancel out God’s love.
Naomi thought she was empty. She thought God had abandoned her. But God was quietly at work through her story. That is the heartbeat of the Old Testament, and of the whole Bible, a God who restores. God’s love remained then, and it remains now, in our doubts, in our anger, in our seasons of unbelief. God is there all along.
And we didn’t even get to the bigger story of redemption being woven into this story. This chapter only lays the foundation for the story of how the ordinary grief of one woman in Bethlehem became the soil for extraordinary hope for all of creation. You’ll have to come back next month for Chip’s talk, and in November for Alyssa’s.